Someone once asked me what would I buy if I had all the money in the world. The funny thing I remember was that cars weren't the first thing to hit my mind. It was 4th. First was traveling, 2nd a house, 3rd my own business, 4th a better car. 4th? It doesn't sound right but thats what happened.
My friend Ah Loon did the unthinkable. He just took delivery of a brand new BMW 318 and tied himself nicely to a long repayment plan, I think 7 or 9 years.
But he can afford it 'cause unlike me, he's employed. Umm let me rephrase that. I am employed, sort of, if working for the family business counts as employment but certainly my parents would be mortified if I bought a car like Ah Loon's.
Hell yeah I'm envious. It is after all a chick magnet. We went for a spin yesterday afternoon. Even did a minor drift and boy oh boy was I impressed with the handling. The pride of my life, my 2-year old Nissan, seemed so woefully inadequate in comparison.
So over drinks at the Coffee Bean, he asked me what's my image of him now? I dunno I said, flamboyant, risk taker, fun-loving, aggressive maybe. And my ride? He thinks it shows that I am practical, down to earth, stable (he didn't dare say boring as he knows I'd kick him in the butt). Well I could upgrade to a new Fair Lady or Skyline but fat chance. I can't even afford a decent digital camera.
So being the underdog here, I will ask the famous question - why does it matter what one drives if all it does is bring you from point A to B. Right? Wrong. Ever heard of the phrase you are what you eat? Well, apparently you are also what you drive. That is, according to people who will decide whether to be nice to you depending on how you look, which is pretty much everyone outside the monkhood order.
There is one consolation for me though. Its the thought that long after I've graduated to a flying car, my friend Ah Loon will still be paying the monthly installments for his beemer. 9 long years man, holy cow that's paying till the year 2016! Suddenly the thought of owning a Nissan Sentra didn't sound so bad after all.
Sigh, the price to pay for instant recognition.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Bad weather
"You can run from the cold but you can never run from the heat"
- A good friend o'mine
Of late we've been hit with extremely bad weather, as in very hot days with cloudless blue skies.
It was sweltering hot in KL yesterday, so hot that you could literally cook an egg on the pavement.
My ideal environment is a cool 10 deg C but since I am in the tropics, I'll settle for a day-long thunderstorm with lashing rain, 100kmh winds and visibility cut down to 10 feet. Oklah, I'll settle for Genting-like temperatures and clouds hanging out in my room. Anything but this searing heat.
How different it is in the place I last lived (US) where people would worship the sun. They'd bring out their tanning lotions and bask every chance they get. Winter? No problem. They got tanning salons. They want heat, gamma rays, x-rays, whatever rays and can't get enough of it. A sunny day in March will create a carnival-like atmosphere with bikini parties and shit. I hate it.
I think the people in the northern hemisphere should migrate to the desert and the tropics where they can enjoy 40-degree heat all year long plus all the flies and mosquitoes they can handle. By the next millenium, they will have an ever better deal when temperatures soar to maybe 50 degrees centigrade courtesy of global warming. Even at death they can arrange the ultimate in heat-worshipping - a fiery crematorium.
For me I prefer the north pole. I'll even offer my services to Santa for free if he could take me on his sled. Anything but this bad weather.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Foul mouthed friends
Got foul-mouthed friends who think its cool to use expletives in every other sentence?
I do. Sometimes its funnny but sometimes its not. Somehow my mind has learned to sift through the garbage and pick up only words that have meaning.
I used to wonder why people think its cool to be potty mouthed. It is after all the native language of the crass and educationally challenged. Somehow I missed the part where they became the coolest and hippest guys around. I knew I missed something when I grew up.
But I have an opinion. I say people are not to blame for the swearing culture. You know what I think it is? Language. More specifically the lack of its breadth.
You see there's not nearly enough words in the English, Cantonese or Hokkien dictionary to capture the complete range of human emotions, especially the intense ones.
You have to understand that like Mandarin, English was the language of aristocrats who for some reason were uncomfortable with direct honesty. A butler never says, "Madam, that son of a bitch got really fucked up last night." He says, "Madam, your son had a little too much to drink and fell asleep at the bar." Those days poeple were strictly confined to words available in the dictionary.
So if no word in the dictionary can describe a feeling, why blame one's expressive friends when all they're doing is to reach for the nearest substitute word that does convey the emotion?
In truly honest world of expressive communication, a meeting of a board of directors might go something like this.
Chairman: So what does everybody think of Mr. Liew. Should we promote him?
Director A: Promote him? Shit lah, what talk you.
Director B: This Liew feller ah. Tiuu, he fucked up our project. We should fire his ass.
Director C: Ya lah, that fucker got no brain wan. The other day I fuck him kau kau.
Chairman: Oklah, since everybody disagree with the motion we just fuck it. Tiu.
You have to admit that foul mouthed conversations does have a lot more intensity, assertiveness and comitment, things people look for in leadership compared to the lame-assed aristocratic style talk.
But since I don't swear I guess I'm not a leader (and I am definitely no aristocrat). To me swearing is a lot eating petai or stinky beans. Occasionally its fun to have a few. Any more and people start running away from you. After a while, you find that only other petai-eaters will stick by your side.
But isn't that the same with corporate types. People start leaving when they huddle together 'cause they don't understand all the mumbo jumbo about balance sheets and put options. Many people also think their bosses are assholes. Now since people who swear also go by the same reputation, it proves my point that these two are of the same species.
So my message for today is don't be afraid of your potty mouthed friends for they might end up being your boss one day.
I do. Sometimes its funnny but sometimes its not. Somehow my mind has learned to sift through the garbage and pick up only words that have meaning.
I used to wonder why people think its cool to be potty mouthed. It is after all the native language of the crass and educationally challenged. Somehow I missed the part where they became the coolest and hippest guys around. I knew I missed something when I grew up.
But I have an opinion. I say people are not to blame for the swearing culture. You know what I think it is? Language. More specifically the lack of its breadth.
You see there's not nearly enough words in the English, Cantonese or Hokkien dictionary to capture the complete range of human emotions, especially the intense ones.
You have to understand that like Mandarin, English was the language of aristocrats who for some reason were uncomfortable with direct honesty. A butler never says, "Madam, that son of a bitch got really fucked up last night." He says, "Madam, your son had a little too much to drink and fell asleep at the bar." Those days poeple were strictly confined to words available in the dictionary.
So if no word in the dictionary can describe a feeling, why blame one's expressive friends when all they're doing is to reach for the nearest substitute word that does convey the emotion?
In truly honest world of expressive communication, a meeting of a board of directors might go something like this.
Chairman: So what does everybody think of Mr. Liew. Should we promote him?
Director A: Promote him? Shit lah, what talk you.
Director B: This Liew feller ah. Tiuu, he fucked up our project. We should fire his ass.
Director C: Ya lah, that fucker got no brain wan. The other day I fuck him kau kau.
Chairman: Oklah, since everybody disagree with the motion we just fuck it. Tiu.
You have to admit that foul mouthed conversations does have a lot more intensity, assertiveness and comitment, things people look for in leadership compared to the lame-assed aristocratic style talk.
But since I don't swear I guess I'm not a leader (and I am definitely no aristocrat). To me swearing is a lot eating petai or stinky beans. Occasionally its fun to have a few. Any more and people start running away from you. After a while, you find that only other petai-eaters will stick by your side.
But isn't that the same with corporate types. People start leaving when they huddle together 'cause they don't understand all the mumbo jumbo about balance sheets and put options. Many people also think their bosses are assholes. Now since people who swear also go by the same reputation, it proves my point that these two are of the same species.
So my message for today is don't be afraid of your potty mouthed friends for they might end up being your boss one day.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
What's your criteria when choosing a job?
I became a weekend counselor for my cousin who was fresh out of university, had enough of bumming around and is now looking for work. Since I've done the thinking, might as well blog about it.
For me there's no single magic solution or criteria because lets get real, when one is desperate and hungry, what job criteria is there to talk about.
If you are looking for a job, you probably fit into one of these groups:
a. You are a fresh grad willing to try anything
b. You've left a job and must now find one or starve
d. You have a job, are not complaining but open to a better opportunity
c. You have a job but hate it and desperately want out
d. You have no job, are not desperate for one (i.e. you have money) but won't mind some corporate adventure
Fresh Grads
Just like my cousin, I think one of the biggest blunders grads make is to believe that just because they have a degree in engineering, that they must become engineers. That's old school thinking. I know certified lawyers who operate very successful IT companies and an electrical engineer who manages a chain of lifestyle restaurants. And they are happy. Like my cousin, they didn't actually choose their line of study. It was made for them by overzealous parents, peer pressure, badly trained counselors, horoscopes and admission quota rules.
In my opinion, the words on your diploma is not a life sentence condemning you to one specific field forever. It just a piece of paper that says you're now ready for bigger things than exams. Search your heart for your natural calling, a long term challenge that actually has meaning to you. When you find it but still can't get a job that matches it, that's ok. Just take whatever that comes, learn and try again.
Already resigned, desperate to find a job
This is the eat-first-think-later problem, suffered by those who hastily threw in the towel and overestimated their own marketability. Well, if your bank balance can't support next week's expenses, do you still wanna talk about career paths? I didn't think so. Just grab any piece of wood that floats by before you drown. You may get caught up in a spate of nasty job-hopping before getting back on track with a real career but then, what do you expect from eat first think later.
You have a job, comfortable but don't mind a better deal
Ok now we're talking. At this point you've probably realized that money is not everything. You might even be prepared to take a small pay cut for a better work environment that provides some real career advancement. The only thing that bugs you today is that your work has become too routine and there are no promotions in sight. Because you're not thinking on a hungry stomach, you can afford to take your time to do some serious research on things like upward mobility, field of specialty, type of boss, work culture bla bla bla. The world's your oyster, follow your hunch but don't stray too far away from reason.
You hate your job and want to quit. Immediately.
You are having nightmares about your company and are 1 cm away from joining the 2nd category above. Don't do it. Not until you have a job offer letter in hand or have 1 year's worth of cash reserve to live on. You'll need that much in today's conditions. If you have to, learn meditation to take the nonsense at work while shopping for a good alternative. Resist the temptation to simply grab any offer that comes along. When you are motivated by running away from something instead of running towards something, you will end up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Relax dude, take it easy.
You are on easy street, don't need a job but don't mind the adventure
You are every boss's nightmare because you can't be threatened or blackmailed into submission by the usual thing - money. Bosses can't stand people wearing kevlar vests in the office especially when they are junior staff. If you're not shy to hide your wealth, you'll probably want to look at smaller companies that have flat or informal management hierarchies. You might even want to consider joining a young startup. Of course you can join a big company but you may land yourself in some unwelcome adventure because a hierarchy is propped up by a reward system (money) and if money doesn't sway you, you become a threat. So like I said, smaller but faster moving companies will fit you better.
Did I miss anything? Anyway, I thought I had to say all this because I disagreed with my cousin's uni job counselor who kept insisting there's only one way to handle a career search regardless of your life's circumstances. I think he's been smoking too much of whatever they're giving away at the uni.
For me there's no single magic solution or criteria because lets get real, when one is desperate and hungry, what job criteria is there to talk about.
If you are looking for a job, you probably fit into one of these groups:
a. You are a fresh grad willing to try anything
b. You've left a job and must now find one or starve
d. You have a job, are not complaining but open to a better opportunity
c. You have a job but hate it and desperately want out
d. You have no job, are not desperate for one (i.e. you have money) but won't mind some corporate adventure
Fresh Grads
Just like my cousin, I think one of the biggest blunders grads make is to believe that just because they have a degree in engineering, that they must become engineers. That's old school thinking. I know certified lawyers who operate very successful IT companies and an electrical engineer who manages a chain of lifestyle restaurants. And they are happy. Like my cousin, they didn't actually choose their line of study. It was made for them by overzealous parents, peer pressure, badly trained counselors, horoscopes and admission quota rules.
In my opinion, the words on your diploma is not a life sentence condemning you to one specific field forever. It just a piece of paper that says you're now ready for bigger things than exams. Search your heart for your natural calling, a long term challenge that actually has meaning to you. When you find it but still can't get a job that matches it, that's ok. Just take whatever that comes, learn and try again.
Already resigned, desperate to find a job
This is the eat-first-think-later problem, suffered by those who hastily threw in the towel and overestimated their own marketability. Well, if your bank balance can't support next week's expenses, do you still wanna talk about career paths? I didn't think so. Just grab any piece of wood that floats by before you drown. You may get caught up in a spate of nasty job-hopping before getting back on track with a real career but then, what do you expect from eat first think later.
You have a job, comfortable but don't mind a better deal
Ok now we're talking. At this point you've probably realized that money is not everything. You might even be prepared to take a small pay cut for a better work environment that provides some real career advancement. The only thing that bugs you today is that your work has become too routine and there are no promotions in sight. Because you're not thinking on a hungry stomach, you can afford to take your time to do some serious research on things like upward mobility, field of specialty, type of boss, work culture bla bla bla. The world's your oyster, follow your hunch but don't stray too far away from reason.
You hate your job and want to quit. Immediately.
You are having nightmares about your company and are 1 cm away from joining the 2nd category above. Don't do it. Not until you have a job offer letter in hand or have 1 year's worth of cash reserve to live on. You'll need that much in today's conditions. If you have to, learn meditation to take the nonsense at work while shopping for a good alternative. Resist the temptation to simply grab any offer that comes along. When you are motivated by running away from something instead of running towards something, you will end up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Relax dude, take it easy.
You are on easy street, don't need a job but don't mind the adventure
You are every boss's nightmare because you can't be threatened or blackmailed into submission by the usual thing - money. Bosses can't stand people wearing kevlar vests in the office especially when they are junior staff. If you're not shy to hide your wealth, you'll probably want to look at smaller companies that have flat or informal management hierarchies. You might even want to consider joining a young startup. Of course you can join a big company but you may land yourself in some unwelcome adventure because a hierarchy is propped up by a reward system (money) and if money doesn't sway you, you become a threat. So like I said, smaller but faster moving companies will fit you better.
Did I miss anything? Anyway, I thought I had to say all this because I disagreed with my cousin's uni job counselor who kept insisting there's only one way to handle a career search regardless of your life's circumstances. I think he's been smoking too much of whatever they're giving away at the uni.
Friday, March 23, 2007
What would you do if you bumped into your ex?
a. Walk right past him/her and pretend he/she doesn't exist
b. Treat him/her like your long lost friend, exchange phone numbers and invite him/her out for drinks to catch up
c. Treat him/her like an acquaintance and make excuses to cut the contact short
d. Give him/her a furious "I hate you" look and walk right on
e. Freeze in your tracks not knowing what to do
I've not seen my ex for years and the other day, I spotted her as she was driving in the opposite direction but she didn't see me waving. Its hard to see across the metal railing and shrubs separating our lanes and by the time traffic sorted itself out, she had disappeared. Hmm I thot she decided to stay on in Australia.
The sighting brought back many nice memories. That's when I started imagining what would I do if we bumped into each other at the mall or club. It will probably be (b) or (c). Honestly I don't know what she thinks of me now so what I'd do will depend on how she reacts I guess.
I think how one's relationship ends determine these things. For me, it was because she went to Australia for college while I went to the USA. We had no idea how long we'd be gone and after 6 months apart we sort of knew it was unrealistic to continue. We agreed it would be less painful if we changed our expectations. Then life took over and a year later we lost touch. It could have been worse I suppose.
It always fascinates me how breakups on TV are light hearted occasions where the parties would hug, tell a joke, pat each other on the back and make the obligatory lets-be-friends speech. Happens in Friends and Cheers all the time. Then why is it that the breakups I get to hear about are traumatic where most of the time one party storms out and slams the door permanently. Where are those happy-go-lucky feelings?
You do realize I discount people who date "for fun" whatever that means. I don't even know how to categorize that kind of a relationship.
Being Asians I know we are not very capable of saying things like "I love you, I'm just not in love with you" or some weird shit like that, which is why I think the majority of Asians would choose (a), (d) or (e). The ones who really hate you will find out where you parked your car and puncture your tire.
As for my ex gf, if she had settled down with someone, I'd be genuinely eager to meet her significant other as happily as I would introduce her to my gf Shirley. It might be a bit awkward at first but she was a damn good friend and something in me says she's still capable of being one.
So what about you, what would you do?
b. Treat him/her like your long lost friend, exchange phone numbers and invite him/her out for drinks to catch up
c. Treat him/her like an acquaintance and make excuses to cut the contact short
d. Give him/her a furious "I hate you" look and walk right on
e. Freeze in your tracks not knowing what to do
I've not seen my ex for years and the other day, I spotted her as she was driving in the opposite direction but she didn't see me waving. Its hard to see across the metal railing and shrubs separating our lanes and by the time traffic sorted itself out, she had disappeared. Hmm I thot she decided to stay on in Australia.
The sighting brought back many nice memories. That's when I started imagining what would I do if we bumped into each other at the mall or club. It will probably be (b) or (c). Honestly I don't know what she thinks of me now so what I'd do will depend on how she reacts I guess.
I think how one's relationship ends determine these things. For me, it was because she went to Australia for college while I went to the USA. We had no idea how long we'd be gone and after 6 months apart we sort of knew it was unrealistic to continue. We agreed it would be less painful if we changed our expectations. Then life took over and a year later we lost touch. It could have been worse I suppose.
It always fascinates me how breakups on TV are light hearted occasions where the parties would hug, tell a joke, pat each other on the back and make the obligatory lets-be-friends speech. Happens in Friends and Cheers all the time. Then why is it that the breakups I get to hear about are traumatic where most of the time one party storms out and slams the door permanently. Where are those happy-go-lucky feelings?
You do realize I discount people who date "for fun" whatever that means. I don't even know how to categorize that kind of a relationship.
Being Asians I know we are not very capable of saying things like "I love you, I'm just not in love with you" or some weird shit like that, which is why I think the majority of Asians would choose (a), (d) or (e). The ones who really hate you will find out where you parked your car and puncture your tire.
As for my ex gf, if she had settled down with someone, I'd be genuinely eager to meet her significant other as happily as I would introduce her to my gf Shirley. It might be a bit awkward at first but she was a damn good friend and something in me says she's still capable of being one.
So what about you, what would you do?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Why are adults so anal about sex
Normal people plan their sexual activity around when they want to have a baby.
Do you believe it 'cause its what most parents want their children to believe whenever the topic comes up.
Let me tell you something you already know. When a man goes to the beach and has an erection after spotting a sexy dame in a bikini, having a baby with her is the last thing he has on his mind. Its all about having fun dammit. He wants a treat for the senses, a recreational thing like singing or playing soccer. Nobody jumps into bed screaming, "Hell yeah I'm gonna make me a baby today". Would his pure-as-snow parents be horrified to know this? Absolutely.
Last weekend I was amused about the conspiracy of silence among elders over sex. A friend of mine, Ben, was getting married. Prior to the wedding day, I learnt that an extraordinary amount of effort had gone into the bedroom setup. His mother directed everything, from the mandarin duck ornaments and seductive lighting down to the mattress and bedding materials. Gee I wonder why. If I were his mom, I would stick up porn pictures on the wall to guarantee the newlyweds will get down to business in no time. Its cheaper some more.
But why the elaborateness is anyone's guess. Culture? Tradition? Maybe, but what I do know is that most grownups become hypocrites as soon as their children become aware of sex. Afraid to associate shiokness (excitement) with sex they would rather eat their shoes than discuss it. And when the kids head to the gutter to learn about it they (the parents) lament where did they go wrong. Get a clue man. If denial and disinformation tactics didn't work in the age of the horse and buggy, it shore as hell won't work in the age of the internet.
So as far as their kids are concerned, the correct way to talk about sex is to treat it like its a tool to remove earwax which means you don't really wanna talk about it unless you have to. You don't mention its more shiok than a family vacation to Port Dickson and heck, even the reason why mom and dad got married.
But if I know Ben he's armed to the teeth with knowledge on how to handle his first wedding night, just like all of us. I mean the floor of the school's chemistry lab was good enough for him those days so a decked out bedroom is an overkill to say the least. Still I'm sure he enjoyed the pampering and he should be happy he doesn't have to pull a Bart Simpson I-didn't-do-it-you-can't-prove-it stunt anymore.
Good old Ben. Why am I not surprised that his parents won't be surprised at what he knows.
Do you believe it 'cause its what most parents want their children to believe whenever the topic comes up.
Let me tell you something you already know. When a man goes to the beach and has an erection after spotting a sexy dame in a bikini, having a baby with her is the last thing he has on his mind. Its all about having fun dammit. He wants a treat for the senses, a recreational thing like singing or playing soccer. Nobody jumps into bed screaming, "Hell yeah I'm gonna make me a baby today". Would his pure-as-snow parents be horrified to know this? Absolutely.
Last weekend I was amused about the conspiracy of silence among elders over sex. A friend of mine, Ben, was getting married. Prior to the wedding day, I learnt that an extraordinary amount of effort had gone into the bedroom setup. His mother directed everything, from the mandarin duck ornaments and seductive lighting down to the mattress and bedding materials. Gee I wonder why. If I were his mom, I would stick up porn pictures on the wall to guarantee the newlyweds will get down to business in no time. Its cheaper some more.
But why the elaborateness is anyone's guess. Culture? Tradition? Maybe, but what I do know is that most grownups become hypocrites as soon as their children become aware of sex. Afraid to associate shiokness (excitement) with sex they would rather eat their shoes than discuss it. And when the kids head to the gutter to learn about it they (the parents) lament where did they go wrong. Get a clue man. If denial and disinformation tactics didn't work in the age of the horse and buggy, it shore as hell won't work in the age of the internet.
So as far as their kids are concerned, the correct way to talk about sex is to treat it like its a tool to remove earwax which means you don't really wanna talk about it unless you have to. You don't mention its more shiok than a family vacation to Port Dickson and heck, even the reason why mom and dad got married.
But if I know Ben he's armed to the teeth with knowledge on how to handle his first wedding night, just like all of us. I mean the floor of the school's chemistry lab was good enough for him those days so a decked out bedroom is an overkill to say the least. Still I'm sure he enjoyed the pampering and he should be happy he doesn't have to pull a Bart Simpson I-didn't-do-it-you-can't-prove-it stunt anymore.
Good old Ben. Why am I not surprised that his parents won't be surprised at what he knows.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
The best way to becoming a millionaire
Do you know how to get from here
to here in less than a year?
I have a way for you. Think TOILETS. Just imagine:
- 30 sen per entry.
- 5 suckers...err... people per minute.
- 300 people an hour.
- 3600 in 12 hours (typical day 10am-10pm)
- Rm1,080 in collections per day.
- RM32,400 per month
- Monthly cost of 2 full-time cleaners: Rm2,000 (cheaper if illegal worker)
- Monthly cost of cleaning detergent: Rm400
- Profit before rent: 88%
But if you can get by with 1 cleaner who doubles up as the toll collector, your profit jumps to... to daaaa... 96%!
Now, if you can bag all 8 toilets on a typical shopping center floor (4 for men, 4 for ladies), you're staring at making a whopping Rm240,000 a month. That's a cool Rm2.88 million a year.
Your capital is almost zero. Your depreciation is zero. Your marketing cost is zero. Everything's in cold hard cash. No need to worry about competition, customer satisfaction or employee skills. Repeat business is 100% guaranteed.
That's not all. There are no enforcers or by-laws to worry about. As boss you don't have to be there where the action is. Best of all, not only your toilets don't have to be clean, you don't even have to explain to your customers what the 30 sen is for!! Let them use their imagination!
What else. Oh yes, your business automatically gets free protection. Your customers will actually protect you and your business! How? They will go around telling their friends:
- you small minded twit why make so much noise over 30 sen.
- market economy, market economy. U wanna pee, u pay. U dont wana pay don't pee lah.
- maintenance cost is very high, complex cannot survive.
- those free toilets in the new complexes ah? no you cannot compare.
Yup, when people ask questions your customers will happily do your PR for you and you don't have to pay them a cent summore!
If that's not a business made in heaven I don't know what is.
Me? I'm a cheapskate. I want clean but free toilets. I want cheap parking, like Rm1 for 3-4 hours. And I want the latest branded things.
So Sungei Wang Plaza and Low Yat Plaza is out. Hip hip hooray to Mid Valley, 1-Utama, KLCC and Bangsar Shopping Center!
to here in less than a year?
I have a way for you. Think TOILETS. Just imagine:
- 30 sen per entry.
- 5 suckers...err... people per minute.
- 300 people an hour.
- 3600 in 12 hours (typical day 10am-10pm)
- Rm1,080 in collections per day.
- RM32,400 per month
- Monthly cost of 2 full-time cleaners: Rm2,000 (cheaper if illegal worker)
- Monthly cost of cleaning detergent: Rm400
- Profit before rent: 88%
But if you can get by with 1 cleaner who doubles up as the toll collector, your profit jumps to... to daaaa... 96%!
Now, if you can bag all 8 toilets on a typical shopping center floor (4 for men, 4 for ladies), you're staring at making a whopping Rm240,000 a month. That's a cool Rm2.88 million a year.
Your capital is almost zero. Your depreciation is zero. Your marketing cost is zero. Everything's in cold hard cash. No need to worry about competition, customer satisfaction or employee skills. Repeat business is 100% guaranteed.
That's not all. There are no enforcers or by-laws to worry about. As boss you don't have to be there where the action is. Best of all, not only your toilets don't have to be clean, you don't even have to explain to your customers what the 30 sen is for!! Let them use their imagination!
What else. Oh yes, your business automatically gets free protection. Your customers will actually protect you and your business! How? They will go around telling their friends:
- you small minded twit why make so much noise over 30 sen.
- market economy, market economy. U wanna pee, u pay. U dont wana pay don't pee lah.
- maintenance cost is very high, complex cannot survive.
- those free toilets in the new complexes ah? no you cannot compare.
Yup, when people ask questions your customers will happily do your PR for you and you don't have to pay them a cent summore!
If that's not a business made in heaven I don't know what is.
Me? I'm a cheapskate. I want clean but free toilets. I want cheap parking, like Rm1 for 3-4 hours. And I want the latest branded things.
So Sungei Wang Plaza and Low Yat Plaza is out. Hip hip hooray to Mid Valley, 1-Utama, KLCC and Bangsar Shopping Center!
Formula One: Melbourne
Two-thirds of my prediction came true. Yesterday I predicted these results:
#1 Kimi
#2 Alonso
#3 Massa
And today the actual results are:
#1 Kimi
#2 Alonso
#3 Hamilton
Ferrari driver Felipe Massa finished 6th after being forced to start from the back of the grid. That's the price to pay for an engine change after it broke down during Saturday qualifying.
The maiden race of the 2007 season was relatively free of serious race incidents. The most dramatic one today was David Coulthard's stunt when his car actually climbed over Alex Wurz's Williams as they approached a corner at high speed. The on-board camera showed how he missed Wurz's hands and head by inches. I dunno, I pity DC. He's finding it increasingly difficult to retire from the sport with dignity and you can feel the bitterness whenever he speaks to the press.
Kimi is on a high though. How sweet his victory today must feel after McLaren's terrible reliability record the last few seasons. I've lost count how many times the car failed on Kimi when he's leading a race. Poor Alonso is now left with McLaren's legendary jinx in his hands and from his early comments I sense he's not feeling all that confident too.
McLaren's off to a good start though. Its rookie driver Lewis Hamilton who is also F1's first black driver is now the first British driver in 41 years to ever finish on the podium in his maiden race. The fact that he was in front of his teammate Alonso for a considerable number of laps today showed that McLaren was happy to let this be a race of merit, at least for now. But make no mistake, team orders is sure to rear its ugly head as the season heats up.
On Kimi again, I can't help noticing a big difference during the post race press conference. He actually looks genuinely happier, unlike during his McLaren days when he's more reserved even when he's fresh off the podium. To the question on his win being like a walk in Albert Park, he responded,
I think that was the longest comment he'd ever made in front of the camera, ever. So the rumour IS true, he CAN talk even when he's not drunk!
They say Formula One isn't Formula One without Michael Schumacher. I disagree. I think it'll do just fine without him and the race in Albert Park today proves it.
The next race will be on 8 April in Sepang. Anyone got a spare free ticket for me?
#1 Kimi
#2 Alonso
#3 Massa
And today the actual results are:
#1 Kimi
#2 Alonso
#3 Hamilton
Ferrari driver Felipe Massa finished 6th after being forced to start from the back of the grid. That's the price to pay for an engine change after it broke down during Saturday qualifying.
The maiden race of the 2007 season was relatively free of serious race incidents. The most dramatic one today was David Coulthard's stunt when his car actually climbed over Alex Wurz's Williams as they approached a corner at high speed. The on-board camera showed how he missed Wurz's hands and head by inches. I dunno, I pity DC. He's finding it increasingly difficult to retire from the sport with dignity and you can feel the bitterness whenever he speaks to the press.
Kimi is on a high though. How sweet his victory today must feel after McLaren's terrible reliability record the last few seasons. I've lost count how many times the car failed on Kimi when he's leading a race. Poor Alonso is now left with McLaren's legendary jinx in his hands and from his early comments I sense he's not feeling all that confident too.
McLaren's off to a good start though. Its rookie driver Lewis Hamilton who is also F1's first black driver is now the first British driver in 41 years to ever finish on the podium in his maiden race. The fact that he was in front of his teammate Alonso for a considerable number of laps today showed that McLaren was happy to let this be a race of merit, at least for now. But make no mistake, team orders is sure to rear its ugly head as the season heats up.
On Kimi again, I can't help noticing a big difference during the post race press conference. He actually looks genuinely happier, unlike during his McLaren days when he's more reserved even when he's fresh off the podium. To the question on his win being like a walk in Albert Park, he responded,
Yeah. The weekend has been very good, so thanks to the team. Today the race was not as easy as it might have looked. Just before the start my radio broke so I didn't have a radio the whole race so it was a bit complicated but at least before the race we had a plan what we wanted to do so I knew pretty much what I was meant to do, but in some places it wasn't an ideal situation. Anyhow, it was a good race for us. I didn't have to push too hard, just have to pace myself a bit and look what the others were doing. An excellent start.
I think that was the longest comment he'd ever made in front of the camera, ever. So the rumour IS true, he CAN talk even when he's not drunk!
They say Formula One isn't Formula One without Michael Schumacher. I disagree. I think it'll do just fine without him and the race in Albert Park today proves it.
The next race will be on 8 April in Sepang. Anyone got a spare free ticket for me?
Friday, March 16, 2007
2007 F1 GP is here!!!
Woohoo, another reason to party on Saturdays and Sundays!
Tomorrow the season kicks off in Melbourne. Qualifying's at 10:57am Malaysian time and the actual race day is on Sunday 11:00am. Tune in to Astro Star Sports channel to watch.
I've been a McLaren fan for years but since Kimi Raikonnen (right) has moved to Ferrarri, I'll be rallying behind Ferrarri this season. Go Ice Man, the next world champion!!!My podium predictions for Melbourne:
#1 - Kimi (of course)
#2 - Alonso
#3 - Massa
Ok, for those who don't know, some race rules have been changed for this season. Not surprising since no season ever goes by without some rule changes. Anyway here's what you can expect.
1. Tyres. The rule I hate the most: all teams will be using only one brand of tyres: Bridgestone. Crap. Of all the races last year, how many wins did Bridgestone score against Michellin? Since most of their development effort has reportedly been to support their #1 customer Ferrari, will they spread development fairly for the other teams? I'm not so sure they will.
2. Practice duration. The duration of the Friday practice sessions have been extended from 60 minutes to 90 minutes.
3. Engines. If an engine breaks down during Friday practice, it can be changed without penalty before the qualifying session and race of Saturday and Sunday. However once changed, it must cover Saturday and Sunday.
4. Safety car. An interesting twist: As soon as a safety car moves onto the track, the pit lane will be closed. They will open again once all the cars have lined up behind the safety car and the yellow flag is withdrawn. This will kill off the old trick whereby whenever a race is temporarily suspended because of a track incident, drivers "cheat" by quickly pitting to refuel or change tyres without incurring much penalty on their time sheets.
Here's the calendar for the 2007 FIA Formula One World Championship.
18 March Australia - Melbourne
08 April Malaysia - Sepang
15 April Bahrain - Bahrain International
13 May Spain - Barcelona
27 May Monaco - Monte Carlo
10 June Canada - Montreal
17 June United States - Indianapolis
01 July France - Magny-Cours
08 July Great Britain - Silverstone
22 July Germany - Nurburgring
05 August Hungary - Hungaroring
26 August Turkey - Istanbul
09 September Italy - Monza
16 September Belgium - Spa Francorchamps
30 September Japan - Fiji International
07 October China - Shanghai
21 October Brazil - Interlagos
Something tells me this is gonna be the best F1 season evar!
Kimi's picture source: Here
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Cry baby
Not me lar, the baby next door. The little tyke hasn't stoppped crying for the last half an hour. I don't understand how such a small package can produce so much noise pollution. Its driving me nuts.
If there's one thing I salute about women, it is their ability to handle a crying baby and not pull their hair out in frustration. Without them, I have no doubt mankind would have gone extinct long ago.
But what is it about babies that make them cry so much? Oops, wrong question. Let me rephrase. Why can't they stop?
Is it because they immediately shut off their microphones (ears) when they turn up their loudspeakers? How come when they start, no amount of soft talk from their mothers would make it stop? (Actually I know some grown-ups who are like that too.)
No, actually I do understand why babies cry. When you're at an age when you haven't learned to speak, who can blame you for voicing your discomfort in other ways. But what I cannot stand are the irresponsible parents who don't give a shit about other people when their kids make an ass of themselves.
Here's what I mean by irritating parents.
1. Parents on a plane who'll do nothing as their baby cries non-stop for 2 hours, and I mean not even holding their child as it screams its tiny lungs out.
2. Parents who bring their crying baby into a packed cinema, thinking that a Rm10 ticket gives them the right to destroy half the house's movie experience with their little boom box.
3. Parents who don't clean up after their baby makes a mess in a public place.
4. Parents who don't care to apologize when their baby spills stuff on other people. On a flight to HK once, I saw a struggling baby accidentally kick a meal off a tray table onto someone's lap. The mother didn't so much as apologize to the man.
5. Parents who scream at or humiliate their kids in public.
Luckily I haven't met many of them but for the irresponsible few who don't know how to be parents or don't want to be parents, can someone please do us a favour and tell them to go get sterilized.
If there's one thing I salute about women, it is their ability to handle a crying baby and not pull their hair out in frustration. Without them, I have no doubt mankind would have gone extinct long ago.
But what is it about babies that make them cry so much? Oops, wrong question. Let me rephrase. Why can't they stop?
Is it because they immediately shut off their microphones (ears) when they turn up their loudspeakers? How come when they start, no amount of soft talk from their mothers would make it stop? (Actually I know some grown-ups who are like that too.)
No, actually I do understand why babies cry. When you're at an age when you haven't learned to speak, who can blame you for voicing your discomfort in other ways. But what I cannot stand are the irresponsible parents who don't give a shit about other people when their kids make an ass of themselves.
Here's what I mean by irritating parents.
1. Parents on a plane who'll do nothing as their baby cries non-stop for 2 hours, and I mean not even holding their child as it screams its tiny lungs out.
2. Parents who bring their crying baby into a packed cinema, thinking that a Rm10 ticket gives them the right to destroy half the house's movie experience with their little boom box.
3. Parents who don't clean up after their baby makes a mess in a public place.
4. Parents who don't care to apologize when their baby spills stuff on other people. On a flight to HK once, I saw a struggling baby accidentally kick a meal off a tray table onto someone's lap. The mother didn't so much as apologize to the man.
5. Parents who scream at or humiliate their kids in public.
Luckily I haven't met many of them but for the irresponsible few who don't know how to be parents or don't want to be parents, can someone please do us a favour and tell them to go get sterilized.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Fascination with the stars
I never had the chance to own a telescope but I hope to some day, if I can save enough. It would be fantastic to see the great spot of Jupiter and the rings of Saturn with my own eyes.
All this started off when I was a kid when I had this habit of staring at the night sky. The twinkly little lights mystified me to no end. And then it happened. One night I saw not one but three streaks of light darting across the sky! I got hooked on everything cosmic from then on.
It was fun to imagine about other beings out there. What do they look like? How come they don't visit us? Why don't we build intergalactic ships and see what's out there? Why don't people want to live on the moon or Mars?
As a teen I started reading Stephen Hawking and watching Star Wars and it later transformed into an almost academic interest in cosmology. Cosmology has nothing to do with horoscopes but everything to do with studying the physics and mathematics of the universe.
I must admit that my fascination with distant galaxies is rooted in wanting to get away from the knowns - the unsolvables, things about man and his society that I know will never change in my lifetime no matter how much I try. Who among us have never wished that things are different.
Of course I have no reason to believe that any space-faring society out there are doing any better than us but sometimes the anything-but-this feeling can be overwhelming. Call it escapism if you like but you have to admit if not for it, no new worlds would have been discovered a thousand years ago.
Maybe that's why I feel especially connected to the old movie "An American Tail" so much. Its about the story of the life of a family of Jewish-Russian mice who emigrate to New York City, believing that there are no cats in America and the roads are paved with cheese.
So escapism rocks and whatever's out there in the stars, I'm game to find out. Now if only I can get my hands on a ship.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Do men gossip?
Men? Gossip? Of course not. That's an insult to our masculinity :D
We're men. We comment and give heads ups. In fact we move entire stock markets by passing secret leads to one another. We always make our friends swear that they will never repeat it to anyone else.
If by lunchtime, half the town knows our secret lead, we'll tell them it's market talk. Its very normal.
The other thing men don't do is chat. We discuss. Chatting is two women sitting at Starbucks, cigarettes in hand and gossiping. We men'll have none of that. We discuss.
BUT.
Ok so we do do the g word. But can we call it an update so that we can remain masculine. And shhh... don't tell the women that. :D
We're men. We comment and give heads ups. In fact we move entire stock markets by passing secret leads to one another. We always make our friends swear that they will never repeat it to anyone else.
If by lunchtime, half the town knows our secret lead, we'll tell them it's market talk. Its very normal.
The other thing men don't do is chat. We discuss. Chatting is two women sitting at Starbucks, cigarettes in hand and gossiping. We men'll have none of that. We discuss.
BUT.
Men lie more, while women tell the bigger lies (just ask Chris Rock). Women gossip more, but men are not lagging too far behind. Source.
Ok so we do do the g word. But can we call it an update so that we can remain masculine. And shhh... don't tell the women that. :D
Do opposites REALLY attract?
As a boy I would drive my mum crazy with my questions. One of them was why my uncles and aunties never shopped together. If its my uncle, he would walk with other male members of the family and if its my auntie, she'd go with her daughters or female cousins.
Oklah, silly question. Relationships are like fish. The older it gets, the smellier it becomes. But is there some psychogical or biological factor we can blame, something that makes men curse women's 'indecisiveness' and women men's 'aloofness.' I'm beginning to think so.
Take me for example. When I shop, I always have a precise list of what I want, let's say some AAA-size batteries. I would go into the store, head for the target aisle, scan the prices, pick up the brand I like and head straight to the cashier. I'd be outta there in 5 minutes or less. Ok, maybe it'll take a little longer if I'm choosing a CD player but the point is I always know what I want.
But when Shirley (my gf) shops, its a different thing altogether. If she needs a pair of shoes, it doesn't mean she knows exactly what type of shoe she wants. Its a case of knowing what you want but not knowing what you want, you know, like saying it without saying it.
So what to buy is usually not decided until halfway thru the shopping itself. And who can make a fair decision until they've visited every one of the 11 shoe stores at the mall plus the 2 in the dept store.
Not only that. Objectives move too. She might have shoes on her mind but she may come back with shoes, blouse, belt, CD, make-up pack and other shit.
To avoid myself from going insane, my tactic is to let her wander off on her own and call me when she's done as I busy myself browsing boy toys elsewhere in the building. It turns out many men also do the same. Great minds think alike, hahahaha.
My whole point is this. If you are male, your world is a collection of discrete objects, each one clearly defined, never mind if some things are impossible to define. Men aren't bothered with detail. Life is always rational and there is a clear start and finish in everything you do, a clear purpose every time.
But for females, nothing is discrete. Enter alien factors like color, relationship, fluidity, detail and other mah fan (troublesome) things. The female world is much more complex and fine, with more variables considered behind every decision or action. Where a man sees one choice, a woman may see 3 or 4.
So if men and women are so different, sometimes to the point of conflict, then how in the world do they stay together? This was another question that drove my mum nuts.
My own answer is they don't. Well actually they do but to keep their sanity, they get away from each other as much as they can. The women takes cover with their mahjong/shopping kakis and the men their snooker joints.
So to stay together, they get away from each other. Hope you get it cause I still don't.
Oklah, silly question. Relationships are like fish. The older it gets, the smellier it becomes. But is there some psychogical or biological factor we can blame, something that makes men curse women's 'indecisiveness' and women men's 'aloofness.' I'm beginning to think so.
Take me for example. When I shop, I always have a precise list of what I want, let's say some AAA-size batteries. I would go into the store, head for the target aisle, scan the prices, pick up the brand I like and head straight to the cashier. I'd be outta there in 5 minutes or less. Ok, maybe it'll take a little longer if I'm choosing a CD player but the point is I always know what I want.
But when Shirley (my gf) shops, its a different thing altogether. If she needs a pair of shoes, it doesn't mean she knows exactly what type of shoe she wants. Its a case of knowing what you want but not knowing what you want, you know, like saying it without saying it.
So what to buy is usually not decided until halfway thru the shopping itself. And who can make a fair decision until they've visited every one of the 11 shoe stores at the mall plus the 2 in the dept store.
Not only that. Objectives move too. She might have shoes on her mind but she may come back with shoes, blouse, belt, CD, make-up pack and other shit.
To avoid myself from going insane, my tactic is to let her wander off on her own and call me when she's done as I busy myself browsing boy toys elsewhere in the building. It turns out many men also do the same. Great minds think alike, hahahaha.
My whole point is this. If you are male, your world is a collection of discrete objects, each one clearly defined, never mind if some things are impossible to define. Men aren't bothered with detail. Life is always rational and there is a clear start and finish in everything you do, a clear purpose every time.
But for females, nothing is discrete. Enter alien factors like color, relationship, fluidity, detail and other mah fan (troublesome) things. The female world is much more complex and fine, with more variables considered behind every decision or action. Where a man sees one choice, a woman may see 3 or 4.
So if men and women are so different, sometimes to the point of conflict, then how in the world do they stay together? This was another question that drove my mum nuts.
My own answer is they don't. Well actually they do but to keep their sanity, they get away from each other as much as they can. The women takes cover with their mahjong/shopping kakis and the men their snooker joints.
So to stay together, they get away from each other. Hope you get it cause I still don't.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Astromax: My review Part 2
Following my review in Part 1 where I covered mostly the software aspect of Astromax, let me now talk about its physical aesthetics. I'll keep it short and sweet because in all honesty there isn't much to say about it.
The Pros:
It fits into the last vacant shelf of my AV cabinet
The Cons:
1. The red LED on the front panel is irritatingly distracting. Why does it have to be sooo RED, sooo COARSE and sooo BRIGHT until it kills the ambience of good movie watching. Where's the dimmer control? There's none.
2. No dedicated on-off AC power switch. If you have to reboot your Max as often as I do (which is about once every 3-4 days nowadays), you really don't want to grope the wires behind your AV cabinet, every time guessing which plug is wired to which component. Its just plumb dangerous.
3. The smart card when fully inserted sticks out by 1 cm. An accident waiting to happen.
4. The whole box design is so American. In other words boring, like something out of the 80's. And I thought the world has moved on to way-cool Euro/Japanese style design philosophies? I mean just look at how uninspiring Motorola phone designs are.
To make a long story short, I think Astromax's box design sucks. It sticks out like a sore thumb in my rack of AV electronics. Without an on-board power switch, it is a hassle to reboot and knowing how frequently the Max locks up, I wonder how in the world did they miss that out.
'Nuff said.
The Avatar: The Last Airbender
I can't believe it. After an end-of-season hiatus, my favorite cartoon is making a comeback to Nickleodeon. Yay!!
The Avatar has been the reason why I wake up on Saturday mornings. It sits right up there with my favorites like Samurai Jack and Teen Titans.
If the word cartoon conjures up pictures of Tom and Jerry to you, rest assured The Avatar is of a different genre. Very different. The Avatar tells stories of human and social struggle themed on compassion and humanity. The stories actually have meaning. Values even.
The Avatar is the story of a little boy Aang (leftmost below) who is the reincarnartion of the Avatar, an ancient warrior who gained mastery over the elements earth, wind, water and fire and uses it to defeat the evil fire nation. While the overall plot is simple enough, it is the adventures of Aang and his two close friends Saka and Katara as they travel through strange lands pursued by the fire nation army that keep me on the edge.
I for one am relieved that the age of Hanna-Barbera cartoons is coming to and end. I've never fancied its portrayal of fun and adventure as hitting someone on the head with a stick. It has spawned generations of evil toddlers who, just like their heroes, settle their differences with a stick. These toddlers are now leaders of huge corporations and trust me you'll be horrified to know how they run their companies.
If you want your kids to grow up as good people, let them watch the Avatar and Samurai Jack. Its better than the Bugs Bunny and Roadrunner crap a hundred times over.
So anyway I'm clearing out my old recordings in my Astromax to make way for the Avatar. Can't wait, woohoo!!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Women
Of all the local blog articles on Women's Day so far, I like Minishort's the most. She spoke my mind, especially the part on people's penchant to hype on one thing one particular day and then revert to the same old routine the next day.
I'm all for equality and but the truth is, many women I know like chivalry, that "ladies first" priviledge or an acknowledgement by men that women want to be treated special and not like old Joe down at the bar. You see, not all discrimination is bad or unwanted.
Although I still think women come from Venus and men from Mars, the only time when gender differentiation means anything is when I have to choose which wasroom door do I go through. And when I'm out driving. Other than that, I don't see any difference. In fact you should see how I outran one fat lady to the buffet counter the other day, heh heh.
So to all women, this is your day so party on while it lasts!
And while I'm at it, I want to nominate for a special international transvestite's day so we can have more can-can dances to see.
I'm all for equality and but the truth is, many women I know like chivalry, that "ladies first" priviledge or an acknowledgement by men that women want to be treated special and not like old Joe down at the bar. You see, not all discrimination is bad or unwanted.
Although I still think women come from Venus and men from Mars, the only time when gender differentiation means anything is when I have to choose which wasroom door do I go through. And when I'm out driving. Other than that, I don't see any difference. In fact you should see how I outran one fat lady to the buffet counter the other day, heh heh.
So to all women, this is your day so party on while it lasts!
And while I'm at it, I want to nominate for a special international transvestite's day so we can have more can-can dances to see.
Heroes: My least favorite characters
There are two characters in the tv series Heroes that I'd rather not watch.
First is Niki Sanders the single mother.
I find it mentally draining just watching her struggle with her alter ego Jessica episode after episode. They keep coming back to the same old scenes in the garage, playing the same awful background music and reading the same old script. Ever since Jessica's first appearance, there's been nothing new to learn about the two of them. I mean come on, get over it already. I'm not going to spend the rest of the season watching her fight the same old battle with herself when she should be out there fighting the bad guys. I think they're trying very hard to kill an otherwise interesting character with repetitive over-dramatization.
My second least favorite character is Isaac Mendez the painter.
Like Niki, the producers are trying hard to kill him with the broken record syndrome. They keep repeating the same conflict scenes between he and his girlfriend (and anyone else who comes near him, now that Petrelli and others are coming into his studio), the same reminders about why he needs drugs to paint and the same whiny excuses about why he doesn't know why he draws what he draws. Look, we get it already. You've told this story in every episode and I'm gonna scream if you tell it one more time.
Its a shame that the power of subtlety is all but lost in Heroes' screenwriters.
Now for some strange reason this broken-record syndrome is is hovering around just a couple of characters and I've started to flip channels whenever its their turn on the screen. I hope I don't lose interest the way they lost me in the series LOST - a show whose tale is constructed almost entirely on flashbacks, which is like trying to guess what you ate by looking at a turd.
First is Niki Sanders the single mother.
I find it mentally draining just watching her struggle with her alter ego Jessica episode after episode. They keep coming back to the same old scenes in the garage, playing the same awful background music and reading the same old script. Ever since Jessica's first appearance, there's been nothing new to learn about the two of them. I mean come on, get over it already. I'm not going to spend the rest of the season watching her fight the same old battle with herself when she should be out there fighting the bad guys. I think they're trying very hard to kill an otherwise interesting character with repetitive over-dramatization.
My second least favorite character is Isaac Mendez the painter.
Like Niki, the producers are trying hard to kill him with the broken record syndrome. They keep repeating the same conflict scenes between he and his girlfriend (and anyone else who comes near him, now that Petrelli and others are coming into his studio), the same reminders about why he needs drugs to paint and the same whiny excuses about why he doesn't know why he draws what he draws. Look, we get it already. You've told this story in every episode and I'm gonna scream if you tell it one more time.
Its a shame that the power of subtlety is all but lost in Heroes' screenwriters.
Now for some strange reason this broken-record syndrome is is hovering around just a couple of characters and I've started to flip channels whenever its their turn on the screen. I hope I don't lose interest the way they lost me in the series LOST - a show whose tale is constructed almost entirely on flashbacks, which is like trying to guess what you ate by looking at a turd.
Got tagged by Anucia
Only barely 4 weeks into blogging and dear Anucia already tagged me. And up till 15 minutes ago, I hadn't the faintest idea what tagging meant. Oklah I admit I'm still new to blogging but lets see if I get this right: I now have to tell 6 weird things about myself and tag 6 others right? Shouldn't there be a third 6 to make it a merry "666"? Guess not.
Ok since u asked for it,
1. I cook (but guaranteed nobody will eat)
2. Nothing I plant ever survives.
3. I can feel presences and sometimes see them.
4. I dream of living in an igloo in the antarctic.
5. I once wore the same pair of jeans every day for 3 months without washing it
6. I've won burping contests a few times
Now to tag 6 others. Can I wait till I get to know 6 others cause I don't personally know any blogger yet. Not even one. Pathetic eh :D
Ok since u asked for it,
1. I cook (but guaranteed nobody will eat)
2. Nothing I plant ever survives.
3. I can feel presences and sometimes see them.
4. I dream of living in an igloo in the antarctic.
5. I once wore the same pair of jeans every day for 3 months without washing it
6. I've won burping contests a few times
Now to tag 6 others. Can I wait till I get to know 6 others cause I don't personally know any blogger yet. Not even one. Pathetic eh :D
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Why men don't listen and women can't read maps
I dunno but it might explain why women take so blardy long to reverse their cars out of the parking lot.
Man:
Get in, start car, reverse, drive off.
Woman:
Get in, clear back seat to stash bags, adjust seat belt, complain a bit about seat being too low, adjust rear view mirror, start engine, let it warm up a bit, take tissue to wipe something off the face, adjust aircon, see if hair in order, one last mind scan to see if forgot to buy something, reverse slowly, drive off.
All this while the guy in the car behind is seething and swearing.
Not that men don't do all that other stuff. They just do it while driving. :D
(Oh ya, the title of this post came from a book by Allan and Barbara Pease. A hilarious piece of work.)
Man:
Get in, start car, reverse, drive off.
Woman:
Get in, clear back seat to stash bags, adjust seat belt, complain a bit about seat being too low, adjust rear view mirror, start engine, let it warm up a bit, take tissue to wipe something off the face, adjust aircon, see if hair in order, one last mind scan to see if forgot to buy something, reverse slowly, drive off.
All this while the guy in the car behind is seething and swearing.
Not that men don't do all that other stuff. They just do it while driving. :D
(Oh ya, the title of this post came from a book by Allan and Barbara Pease. A hilarious piece of work.)
Hiro Nakamura
This character from the tv series Heroes cracks me and makes the series endearing, for me at least.
For one, its his screen character. Hiro is a nerdy otaku who can bend space and time and teleport himself. His childlike characterization of an innocent guy to the point of stupid is simply hilarious. He gets taken for a ride a lot, especially by his colleague and best friend Ando Masahashi who convinces him to use his powers to do things like cheat at the gambling table.
Although Hiro trusts strangers easily, he is not above doing naughty things like swiping a comic book from an NYC newsstand after paying the proprietor in Yen. And when the situation demands it, he will put up a stubborn argument. But despite getting punched up, thrown from a moving van, bullied and insulted, he's never glum for long. This guy doesn't have a malicious bone in his body.
My biggest respect for Masi Oka, the actor who plays Hiro, goes to his language ability. He speaks flawless American (common), flawless Japanese (common), and his piece de resistance: English with a thick genuine Japanese accent (not common for a native American speaker). His half-past-six Inggurisu beats James Kyson Lee's half-past-six Inggurisu any time. James is the guy who plays his best friend Ando who in real life is a true gaijin - a native New Yorker.
Here's some things you may not know about Masi Oka.
He graduated in 1997 from Brown University with degrees in mathematics and computer science and a minor in theatre arts.
He has a 180-plus IQ. (IQ of an average adult is about 105)
Was as a child featured on the cover of Time Magazine with the title "Those Asian-American Whiz Kids".
Speaks fluent Japanese. (obviously)
Resides in Los Angeles.
Still drives a 2000 Honda Accord.
Produces CGI special effects for George Lucas's ILM and worked on special effects for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006), War of the Worlds (2005), the three most recent Star Wars movies, and The Perfect Storm (2000).
Has a blog.
Source: Wiki and IMBD
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Hiding the past
He: Are you hiding something?
Me: The hell I'm not. Why do you think I'm wearing clothes, dum dum?
That was an extract of a conversation I had with Wee Shan a friend of mine yesterday. We were trying to figure out what his girlfriend meant when she said he should have told her everything. We were struggling to decipher what 'everything' meant.
Shan's girlfriend had somehow got hold of an old photo album of his and well, the past caught up with him. In it was an old picture of him and another girl in a lovey dovey pose at Genting Highlands. My friend said the picture was taken 8 years ago and the relationship lasted 3-4 months. He didn't think it was significant enough to mention.
But his gf thinks otherwise and accuses him of hiding things from her. Nothing he says will settle the matter and to use a euphemism, he's now 'locked out of the house.' Poor guy.
So the question of the day is how much of your past should you reveal to your partner. How much do you not tell, purposely or not purposely, before you're seen as crossing the line? Does not telling on account of bad memory mean lying?
I had to tell Shan that if his gf cannot distinguish between a lie and an unintentional ommission of sordid detail, then he's better off without her. Otherwise he would never heard the end of it. After all he has already apologized and explained there has was no one else that she didn't already know. But if she still wants to be silly, then both of them can play the silly game all the way. Why not accuse her of hiding something too - like the panties that's covered by her jeans. Why not do the honest thing and wear it outside so everyone can see?
I told him to forget trying to fight emotion with logic. If she still cannot put it down, then she's got bigger issues than seeing old photos. Its better that he discover it and deal with it now than much later.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
A parent's view of marriage
I dunno what got into my parents and grandma last night but they ganged up on me at the dinner table, dropping all kind of hints. Have my mum been reading my blogs? Oh crap, die lah.
Their reasons why I shouldn't wait 'too long'?
1. I'm not getting any younger
2. Shirley (my gf) is not getting any younger
3. I don't wanna get lonely when I grow old
4. My parent's house is too big and quiet and they want the pitter patter of small feet to liven it up
Hmmm. How to win an argument against a win-win-win proposal. Actually I'm not against the idea at all but what flew out their window was this little thing called timing. It seemed that temporary insanity got to them faster than it got to me.
I don't blame parents for treating their children like perishables in a vegetable market. You know, move 'em out while they're fresh. 3 out of 4 points raised by the gang had to do with freshness but what I found amusing was why they didn't care to say why its so important in the first place. Wanna take a stab at it?
Well let me cut to the chase. If you're gonna breed like a bunny rabbit, they know its best to do it before a certain age.
Lets face it. No man can 'get it up' past a certain age. No lady wants to suckle a baby when her tits are sagging. And that's the cold hard truth that they conspire to keep from you, or at least what they hope you'll figure out between the lines.
It just goes to strengthen my point that marriage is nothing more than a ruse for sex, sex and sex. After all they know very well that babies are an incidental by-product because you can get a baby without sex, adoption being one way. But to a parent, its all about leaving a piece of yourself behind, a living legacy. And don't get me started about why that's so important either.
I don't buy the argument that marriage prevents loneliness at old age and my parents know it. We've seen enough at my elder uncles and aunts to know that its not something you can guarantee.
Like I said, I'm not against marriage but I'd like to do it on reasonable terms. The time I get hitched will be when I'm reasonably certain that I've reigned in my predatory instinct, not when I'm in the thick of it.
Now how do I explain all that to my parents.
Their reasons why I shouldn't wait 'too long'?
1. I'm not getting any younger
2. Shirley (my gf) is not getting any younger
3. I don't wanna get lonely when I grow old
4. My parent's house is too big and quiet and they want the pitter patter of small feet to liven it up
Hmmm. How to win an argument against a win-win-win proposal. Actually I'm not against the idea at all but what flew out their window was this little thing called timing. It seemed that temporary insanity got to them faster than it got to me.
I don't blame parents for treating their children like perishables in a vegetable market. You know, move 'em out while they're fresh. 3 out of 4 points raised by the gang had to do with freshness but what I found amusing was why they didn't care to say why its so important in the first place. Wanna take a stab at it?
Well let me cut to the chase. If you're gonna breed like a bunny rabbit, they know its best to do it before a certain age.
Lets face it. No man can 'get it up' past a certain age. No lady wants to suckle a baby when her tits are sagging. And that's the cold hard truth that they conspire to keep from you, or at least what they hope you'll figure out between the lines.
It just goes to strengthen my point that marriage is nothing more than a ruse for sex, sex and sex. After all they know very well that babies are an incidental by-product because you can get a baby without sex, adoption being one way. But to a parent, its all about leaving a piece of yourself behind, a living legacy. And don't get me started about why that's so important either.
I don't buy the argument that marriage prevents loneliness at old age and my parents know it. We've seen enough at my elder uncles and aunts to know that its not something you can guarantee.
Like I said, I'm not against marriage but I'd like to do it on reasonable terms. The time I get hitched will be when I'm reasonably certain that I've reigned in my predatory instinct, not when I'm in the thick of it.
Now how do I explain all that to my parents.
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