Foul mouthed friends

Got foul-mouthed friends who think its cool to use expletives in every other sentence?

I do. Sometimes its funnny but sometimes its not. Somehow my mind has learned to sift through the garbage and pick up only words that have meaning.

I used to wonder why people think its cool to be potty mouthed. It is after all the native language of the crass and educationally challenged. Somehow I missed the part where they became the coolest and hippest guys around. I knew I missed something when I grew up.

But I have an opinion. I say people are not to blame for the swearing culture. You know what I think it is? Language. More specifically the lack of its breadth.

You see there's not nearly enough words in the English, Cantonese or Hokkien dictionary to capture the complete range of human emotions, especially the intense ones.

You have to understand that like Mandarin, English was the language of aristocrats who for some reason were uncomfortable with direct honesty. A butler never says, "Madam, that son of a bitch got really fucked up last night." He says, "Madam, your son had a little too much to drink and fell asleep at the bar." Those days poeple were strictly confined to words available in the dictionary.

So if no word in the dictionary can describe a feeling, why blame one's expressive friends when all they're doing is to reach for the nearest substitute word that does convey the emotion?

In truly honest world of expressive communication, a meeting of a board of directors might go something like this.

Chairman: So what does everybody think of Mr. Liew. Should we promote him?
Director A: Promote him? Shit lah, what talk you.
Director B: This Liew feller ah. Tiuu, he fucked up our project. We should fire his ass.
Director C: Ya lah, that fucker got no brain wan. The other day I fuck him kau kau.
Chairman: Oklah, since everybody disagree with the motion we just fuck it. Tiu.

You have to admit that foul mouthed conversations does have a lot more intensity, assertiveness and comitment, things people look for in leadership compared to the lame-assed aristocratic style talk.

But since I don't swear I guess I'm not a leader (and I am definitely no aristocrat). To me swearing is a lot eating petai or stinky beans. Occasionally its fun to have a few. Any more and people start running away from you. After a while, you find that only other petai-eaters will stick by your side.

But isn't that the same with corporate types. People start leaving when they huddle together 'cause they don't understand all the mumbo jumbo about balance sheets and put options. Many people also think their bosses are assholes. Now since people who swear also go by the same reputation, it proves my point that these two are of the same species.

So my message for today is don't be afraid of your potty mouthed friends for they might end up being your boss one day.