A man's view of marriage

How many men out there have no regrets about getting married? I mean truly no regrets?

This is my own male perspective of it which I know will be very different than a female's. It is a perspective of the other side nonetheless.

If there's one thing a man treasures more than most, its his own freedom. The freedom to do what he wants, go where he wants and when he wants, usually without having to justify himself. It might have something to do with the natural hunter instinct to get up and go for the kill at a moments notice. After all who can tell when a deer passes the cave.

This freedom applies to the freedom to think about other things as well. He wants to be able to occasionally act on the raunchy thoughts that dog him all day. Thoughts that serve his most important purpose - to procreate.

If men didn't have to work, he will spend all his time doing very few things - the pursuit of sex, having sex, eating, bragging about his conquests to other men, watching a hunt (ball game), and sleeping.

But today, employment takes up three quarters of a man's waking hours so more often than not, he's too preoccupied to get into trouble. But it doesn't stop him from adapting and telling his wife about the occasional 'work trip' he has to do.

Men are highly social creatures. They have a morbid fear of being seen as less than potent by the pack who have no use for an incompetent hunter. That's why the after-work bar trip is all-important. Its the platform for chest-beating. The more ale, the taller the tale. The yardstick of manlihood and coolness? Why the sexual scoreboard of course. Fat, ugly and old men have no chance. Everyone knows they cannot score and nobody wants to associate with losers.

So coming back to the question. With all the forces pulling men away from being tied down, why do they get married?

My answer is simple. In today's world, apart from marriage there's no other way to get a steady supply of sex without being clobbered on the head, if not by the woman weilding the stick, by her family. Man is not stupid. He knows he needs the protection of his clan to survive. The clan is also not stupid. It takes the opportunity to put up marriage as a condition to nicely tie him to a tree and 'be responsible'.

To avoid using real words like ass and pussy, they invent nice cowardly words like 'settling down' but the brutal honest fact is if you want sex, you pay. Simple as that.

So men, now all trembling and sweaty for need of sex, flips into temporary insanity and 'settles down.' No place understand this better than Las Vegas, a city that lives on temporarily insane people and famous for providing instant settling down services. They're famous for speedy divorce services too.

But man's problems are not over. The sexually charged bout of insanity soon wears off. After 10 years, he knows more about his wife than he cares to know and can't stand the daily routine any more. After all his mistress and liaisons on friendster are beckoning and the screaming kids at home are driving him nuts. The wife knows what the scoundrel is up to and digs in her heels for a fight. The clan comes in and stiffs him by relieving half his property should he flee. That's the deal, remember?

Yes, man gets into trouble on account of his genitals more often than he will admit. Many spend the latter half of their lives finding more sex (and not necesarily with their wives) while trying to appear legit to their clans. Those who are fat and ugly like frogs are cunning too. They'll chase after money and power which leads to nice cars and property which ultimately leads to - and you guessed it - sex. If you can't use your right hand to scratch your right butt-cheek, you can always use your left.

When it comes down to it, the life of many men can be written as nothing more than a series of insemnations dotted with a bunch of self-created and often assinine 'challenges' along the way. Well, who says truth must be pleasant.

So I will be brave enough to say that at some point or another, all men rethink their marriages. But let me be fair to say that when a man says till death do us part, most of the time he's not being dishonest. Its just that when all his attention rests between his legs, his attention span is incredibly shortened and he can only tell you the truth that he thinks will prevail in that short span.

And I am temporarily insane when I write this.