Sunday, June 17, 2007

Father's Day: Why so pathetic

That was my response when I when to PPS & Sarawho expecting to see bundles of Fathers Day blog dedications but only found a handful. So pathetic compared to the oodles of well-wishers on Mother's Day.

So what does this mean? That most bloggers don't bother about Father's Day? I dunno but as someone who will be a father (hopefully) some day, it sort of got me thinking.

Unlike in my other home (the US) I notice father figures aren't very popular here. My friends would have a lot to say about their moms but almost nothing about their dads. In fact they don't seem to know much other than what time their dads come home and their annoying habits.

I confess that coming from a culture where most dads would take time to rail for their kids from the days of little league baseball to their first day in college, I find this a little strange.

I can think of a couple of reasons why this is happening. Firstly, probably due to work pressure, most fathers here tend to be a crabby lot. They don't interact much with their kids after a certain age and the bond is never strengthened. Whereas mothers tend to 'mother' their kids all the way to adulthood.

Digi has this great ad about a father sending off his young daughter to the big city seemingly devoid of any bonding. It underscores exactly what I mean.

Secondly, it could also mean that Father's Day is a western celebration that's alien to Asians. But if folks here can make a big deal of Mother's Day then why not Father's Day?

Whatever, I empathize with dads who didn't get that phone call from their sons and daughters on this day. They are no less important than mothers if you ask me.

What did I do on Father's Day? Well, firstly I drove over bright and early and fixed both mom and dad breakfast. I didn't burn the ham and scrambled eggs this time and they actually finished it! We spent the morning talking about his passion - the Business. We joined Uncle Shawn and family for lunch and after that they went off for golf.

I gave him no presents. I don't think material things are important to him any more. But he lighted up that I would choose to spend quality time with him and I could see he enjoyed our talk. I mean we actually connected. I think it meant a lot more to him than any present I could give.

So for all you would-be fathers out there, no matter how busy you are, please, please don't alienate your kids and outsource everything to mommy. Take time to bond. You'll appreciate the payoff much later in life.

This to me is the most important message of Father's Day.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I suppose father's day isn't so commercialized (yet) compared the the mother's counterpart. Which is weird since the potential for spending is even more!

Bryan said...

Could be, although I think no matter how you commercialize it, things won't happen if fathers continue to alienate themselves from their kids.

Anonymous said...

You really have a point there Bryan.
Thank you.

Bryan said...

Hi Kay, anytime man..