Valentine's Day Wet Blanket

'Tis the day when everyone faithfully picks up the cue from the shopping malls and their friends' smses to subject themselves to being ripped off, all in the name of appearing romantic. Being the professional wet blanket that I am, let me lay down the cards on what Valentine's day means to me.

So tell me again, why do people need a special day to express their love to someone? When one is truly in love, isn't every day a special day? Or if one's relationship is in the pits, does anyone seriously think a measly rose, a hallmark card and an exhorbitantly priced meal will make any difference?

Granted there's nothing wrong with giving your loved one a genuine surprise if that's what V-day means to you but please lah, how genuine can squeals of, "Ooohh, roses! Heart shaped candy! What an unexpected surprise! Thank you darling!" be on a day that sees the same thing happening year after year? Isn't it a bit like climbing into your car in the morning and saying, "Oh my god! A steering wheel!!". Its not the celebrating but the fake expressions of surprise that's, well, fake.

If anything, the party with the most reason to celebrate Valentine's day are the merchants. Yup, people like me (you can consider me a businessman of sorts) who make your dreams come true. We make good money selling you set meals at double the price, a stalk of rose at 5 times more, overpriced trinkets, hotel "love packages" with deluxe room, dinner for two, fresh oyster plate and free condoms at 30% above rack rates to name a few. Pandering to base emotions is a very profitable business.

But what can you do when your gf is comparing V-day notes with her friends? The answer is nothing. She'll never forgive you for not giving her anything worth telling her friends about. In fact, where you go and what you do may be already set by the subtle hints you receive days before the event (hey I have a gf too).

If you want to know where the demand for V-day goodies comes from, look no further. Its people wanting to conform to an image created by none other than themselves. People want to be seen as hip and happening and businesses are only too happy to oblige by supplying the props, just like Halloween. From cheap poetry on a card to aphrodisiacs and musical condoms, you name it, we got it.

Be that as it may, I believe in ethics and am against businesses that try to shame their customers into buying ridiculously priced things. That's why flower girls are the worst scumbags in my book. With their basket of roses, these shenanigans will make their rounds at night spots, targetting couples and going straight for the jugular. "Halo Mister, any rose for your leng lui?" they'll sweetly say, just loud enough for the hapless guy's partner to hear.

These sharks understand the game too well. Guys who are terrified to lose face are easy prey. I know some girls who sell a few thousand's worth of flowers to these desperadoes in just a few hours, at well-inflated prices of course. That got my opportunist ears all perked up.

Now I'm not advocating that anyone stop celebrating Vantine's day. By all means celebrate. I like Valentine's Day because it sure helps put the extra dollars in my wallet, heh heh...